Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Rashn for Dummies

What are the kids saying these days? Free weekly Bolshoi Gorod published a double plus good lexicon of newspeak in Moscow’s dangerously jaded fashion community. Can’t say I’ve heard many of these neologisms in the wild, but then again this is a rarefied crowd we’re talking about. Below are MDBIT’s official summary translations.

Блядопровод — Blyadoprovod
Literally “ho pipeline,” in the oil & gas sense. Used to refer to fashionable Moscow establishments frequented by professional women looking to pick-up johns.

Вертушка — Vertushka
A Vertu cellphone. Also the name of an old Soviet phone network system connecting government lines.

Деревня — Derevnya
Literally “the village,” referring to Baravikha Luxury Village, a focal point for the fashion crowd.

Данила — Danila
Synonymous with freak, a “strange passenger.” The term derives from red-haired Danila Polyakov, who successfully models both man and female lines. Possible to use in the neuter gender — i.e. “polnoe Danilo” (completely Danila) — which is extraordinarily convenient in our new gender-ambiguous world.

Дяга — Dyaga
Russian national nightclub Dyagilev decorated with the Order of the Red Banner. Frequent visits lead to rehab.

Минигарх — Minigarch
Also know as “Oligarch Lite,” “mini-oligarch” or “ruble millionaire.” The term refers to men worth somewhere in the vicinity of $50 million. Not really hip Russian newspeak, since it can already be found in Webster’s dictionary.

Рубль — Ruble
Rublevo-Uspenskoe highway and the surrounding area, which is a natural reserve for Forbesmen (those listed on Forbes Magazine's 100 Richest list).

Тюнинг — Tuning
The main past time of women in the “antique erotic” category. “Zhetskii” (hard) tuning indicates over-saturation with Botox.

У Дини — U Dini
Nickname of Denis Simachev’s bar-café-store on Stoleshnikov Pereulok. Also doubles as a password for feis kontrol — “Is Dinya there?” categorically disarms guards.

Russian — Russian
Describing grandeur and flamboyance, rarely of a constructive type.



Monday, November 12, 2007

Neverland Ranch

When it's not occupied hosting concerts for aging divas whose stars fell in the rest of the world a long time ago (Gloria Gaynor, David Guetta), elitny megaclub Dyagilev can't resist a good theme party. Here's the Top 5 of the Fall 2007 club season. (Note: these aren't my made-up titles. Like a depraved creative writing summer camp, no theme is too abstract for a game of Let's Pretend at Dyagilev.)

1. "Betty Ford Clinic" (Nov. 9), in which all the skank nurses from Halloween night rise again.

2. "Candidate for President" (Nov. 4), in which Putin's Plan has something to do with bras and shitty techno.

3. "Seven Princesses and You Under a Blanket" (Oct. 26), in which I can only count six princesses. One must be suffocating under the blanket.

4. "Oxygen Boom" (Oct. 18), in which gusts of O2 send maidens into raptures.

5. "Rock & Roll Forever" (Oct. 12), in which the euro humps all other currency. No need to rub it in!