moscow doesn't believe in tears: 2008-11-02

In the midst of a grave world-wide economic crisis shaking Moscow like a Yahtzee box, my greatest fear was still a lackluster Halloween. In some ways it came true, though I’ve taken the noose down out of the closet. A little bit of history: Halloween is traditionally a big freaking deal on the club scene, up there with New Year’s in terms of fireworks-and-glitter related fatalities. Call it a litmus test for how good things really are in Moscow.

Results came back mixed. The parties seemed fun and people dressed up, but none of them looked like the world was ending, which is the going standard for Halloween in Moscow. Club XII’s annual bash was full of people who cared enough to rent nice costumes, even if it meant taking out a loan. Thanks for giving a damn, guys.

“Freak International 3” also had a strong showing, despite being held at warehouse club Gaudi Arena, a long, cold marshrutka ride away from civilization. But that’s kind of cheating because candy ravers already dress like it’s Halloween and probably didn’t even realize it was a holiday.

Look! Zhenya's going as your bored girlfriend

Pretty much all the other big name clubs didn’t, ahem, Rai-se to the occasion. The party was there, but barely distinguishable from any other night. Those bitties who did come in costume looked like they were headed to SAE Theme Thursdays, an uninspired assortment of skank nurses, slutty brides and promiscuous policewomen we've seen before.

Kappa Theta Ikra

I know, America is bad, right? Gotta spank it

Labelfucker was supposed to have a good Halloween thing going on. In fact, so good that it was shut down by the police before midnight last year. At least, I think that’s what the wasted people streaming out seemed to be screaming about. When an overgrown schoolgirl with vomit on his chin barreled at me, I didn’t stick around to find out. Unfortunately this year Labelfucker held its party at the clinically depressed Justo Banya Douche. Might as well have sprayed it with Party-Be-Gone.

But if history has taught us anything, it’s that the spirit of Halloween can overcome anything, even a shitty venue. Clubs are just the container, man, what really matters is the people. Making Halloween costume pie takes equal parts creativity, enthusiasm and willingness to act a fool. Which brings me to the main point -- feis control goons, where are you when we need you? For pete’s sake, stop letting people in without real costumes. Four dudes should not be able to ride in one on hat they bought off a malnourished 17-year-old soldier for 100 rubles.

FAIL

Haha. Prokhodite

Nyet

Pass. And run for your life

Borderline. At least they didn't go blackface

Ooh. Tough call. I feel like someone is going to Hell for this, but they did take a concept and run with it

I don't care if she just spent too much time on the bed at Mesto Pod Solntsem, She looks rad, let her in

It's not like Moscow don’t know how to dress up. In fact, the scariest costumes of all weren’t seen on October 31 but a few days before at the Moscow Fashion Week closing party. The punch line is that there wasn't even a Halloween theme, but I guess you already got that.