Welcome to the Jungle, or the One about Feis Kontrol
Dyagilev? Dyaga-dead. September 13 saw the opening of another elitny megaclub contender, "Versus." According to its press release, the name means "against" in Latin, but all of Moscow is very "for" this club. It allegedly has 1,500 person capacity, Venetian-themed go-go girls, two dance floors and a pool which they threaten to fill with sharks and champagne. (While this seems like a joke, it most likely is not. I will alert animal control.)
All of this is unsubstantiated, however, because all the people I know were turned away from the opening. Moreover, in the twenty minutes they were out there, crying, they didn't see anyone let in either. Spotlights, cue-ball headed bouncers, fanfare, but no entry. An interesting move, Versus. Most clubs will sadistically extend to you the option of sacrificing half your crew, the ugly ones, to get inside. Which you, of course, gladly accept. What can I say? In the words of Guns and Roses, ya learn to live like an animal in the jungle where we play.
This is for the rest of the world, which is used to getting into places without human debasement: In Moscow you can be arbitrarily denied entrance to everything — clubs, Kofe Haus, libraries, whatever. I was once notably feis-kontrolled from an elevator, and no amount of lies and chicanery would get me to the 33rd floor. All this functions to make you want what's inside real bad, even when you know it's just going to be a lot of this:
She looks like the inspiration for my former musical project, I Hate Your Corny, Endomorphic Girlfriend.
Versus, 15A Oruzheiny Per., Metro: Mayakovskaya , Tel. 225-1913
Kiosk, 59 Leningradsky Prospect, Metro: Aeroport
Photos: adensya.ru, www.happyland-drink.ru
2 comments:
I never did recover from our encounter with Sergei Zverev and the white rats in Zona...
Happy times!
hello i am coming from thesweden and would like no tears in moscow tour. is there ice bar in the tour? i like to see vodka ice bar in no tears tour, where girls are foxy and like to make the party. in the sweden we make the party in the ice bar. will we party like in the sweden?
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