The Oirish have a right to drink. Not only has the proud Celtic culture been reduced to Lucky Charms and theme bars, you have places like Rai in Moscow Effing Russia co-opting their sacred holiday of the apostle St. Patrick saving all the potatoes from leprechauns. And making it really skanky. Jameson, you Uncle Tom!
You think that everyone loves the Oirish but look how many of them made it into Rai. A sea of Slavs without an O'Drunky in sight. What the hey, Rai. The Oirish are fun, too. So cute you want to feed them cereal out of your pocket. Moreover, now they're all at Silver's, feeding me Long Islands and making me sing folk songs about hating the Engrish until I can't stand anymore.
Barman! I'd like a refreshing beverage...
Can you recommend anything?
Just to wet my beak.
What to have, what to have...
What am I here for again?
I'd recognize that dewy Northern European alcoholic facial slick anywhere. An Oirish slipped inside -- get him!
Don't be fooled. That elephant always has green lasers coming out of its eyes.