Wednesday, June 27, 2007

See, We Have Nice Things

Oh, you know. Moscow is retarded expensive. This June saw the opening of the third outlet of Globus Gourmet, Arkady Novikov’s high-end grocery store, in Baravikha Luxury Village, where people are serious about their luxury.

There was already a GG on Bolshaya Yakimanka and one on Arbat, which I had the misfortune of wandering into last week trying to make a curry. I emerged with no lemongrass, no “soy cheese” (tofu), no acknowledgement by the staff that soy cheese existed, an obscure claim that they only stocked "natural food," a $12-can of coconut milk and an impotent zucchini. As Jerry Seinfeld would say, “N-N-Novikov!

$40 Green Pepper Tastes Like Progress

Blame the French, this time, though. Arkady is just the medium for luxury food line Fauchon to force its gourmet chocolate, wine, coffee, tea, jams and Dead Sea salt meat rubs on a country that’s fine squirting ketchup on pasta. Yo, where's the kholodets?!

Despite the pain of a curry deferred, Globus Gourmet, targeted at “young professionals with Western shopping values,” says it aims to make the shopping experience as comfortable as possible. The Baravikha opening, at least, was a Wizard of Rublyovka customer service wet dream.

And Duma deputy Alexei Mitrofanov was there, cutting Andalusian cow flanks.

And pop singer Anita Tsoi was there, bagging groceries.

And the president of World Class Fitness, Olga Slutsker, was manning the milk department.

And Star Factory contestent Yuri Titov was there, handing out eggs. Mmmm. Almost makes me want to eat again.

I don't know what this is about, but it's funny:

Globus Gourmet, Zhukovka, House 201, Tel. 418-3385


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