Firecrotch Spit Paralyze

MDBIT has truly arrived! We were put in the Guardian's inaugural Top Ten Travel blogs, which is a weekly ranking, by the paper's official Travel blogger, of other blogs. Kind of masturbatory of the whole blogosphere. Here's what he said:

In a world of spies, diplomatic wrangles and general pseudo-cold war skulduggery, it's nice to find something to do with Russia that's a bit of fun. MDBIT is a quite sexy-looking guide to nightlife and cool stuff in Moscow.

If you find a deep spiritual malaise sexy, be my guest. Note: it's listed after the jump, and quite hard to find, which may be why the Guard only accounted for 5% of MDBIT hits last week. No the largest share (44.3%) were poor souls who stumbled in from Google searching for something else, usually whores.

Top Ten Google Searches of July 22-28 (That Did Not Involve Whores)

1. Moscow is Not Swayed By Tears. Nice try! You had this vague idea in your head that the city hates crying, and it paid off.
2. How to Get Drunk on the Relative Cheap without Drinking Antifreeze. Hey that's my line! I wrote that a month ago. Luke Harding? Say it ain't so.
   
3. How to Cut Costs Running a Nightclub in Moscow. House it in a fort?
   
4. Black Star Timati's Girlfriend. I wouldn't say we're dating yet.
5. Moscow Best Bars on Wednesday. It's kind of a black hole.
6. Osen Moscou Face Control. Too late, my French or possibly Catalan friend. Osen has been closed for a couple years now.
7. Raccoon Spit Paralyze. Why am I No. 2 on the search for this? I mean, only No. 2.
8. Music From Moscow Doesn't Believe in Tears. i feel bad for all the first year Russian students looking for stuff about the Soviet classic and instead coming face to face with Danila Polyakov's firecrotch.
   
9. Danila Polyakov Firecrotch. Sir, you're a freak.
10. Skinny Jeans with Codpiece. I am definitely not in the first handful of pages for this one, which meant that someone rifled through a lot of codpieces.