Saturday, March 17, 2007

Andy and the Chocolate Factory

A smart man once said, "Moscow is hell, and in hell you can have a great time."

A contemporary rendering of Dante's Inferno would have to include a ring of hell for sins of nightlife excess, where hapless souls would be forced to roll naked in glitter to shitty techno music for eternity. And it would look like Rai ("Heaven"), newly opened on the premises of the defunct Red October chocolate factory. By all accounts, Rai is hotter than the inner ring of hell right now, the dauphin to succeed Dyagilev.

This is club promoter Andreas, protege of the legendary Alexei Gorobiy (Zima, Leto, Osen, Dyagilev), whose feverish fanatasies were made flesh with Rai. Hi, Andy!

Boobies, ship hair, gargoyles, equal opportunity go-go dancing -- in other words, the nightmare of a 7-year-old boy who ate too much candy and fell asleep.

Other stuff that's there which I couldn't find photos of:

  • Unicorns. (Real? Not out of the realm of possibility.)
  • A waterfall.
  • $40 Kir Royals.
  • Forty toliet stalls, one of which is "really big."
  • Double the face control. The premises houses three separate venues: Heaven (bar), Rai (club) and Elysium (concert hall). Heaven is merely the holding area, from which you have to pass another set of face control to get into Rai. Hanging out at Heaven means you're a loser who couldn't get into the club and will only meet other losers.
These people aren't losers. They got in when the doors to Rai opened at midnight on Feb. 22.

Rai, 9 Bolotnaya Nab., Metro: Polyanka, Borovitskaya, Tel. 767-1474


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